Quick guide on how to unlock every single achievement in this masterpiece.
Welcome to the Paradise!
Start the game.
Twerk it gurl!
Press T key once.
Dab on 'em haters!
Press G key once.
It's a GOAL! *Sike*
Take the stairs next to you at the area where you start, then go left. There should be a soccer ball at the end of the corridor, just run towards the ball to kick it and unlock this achievement.
That's one dank fidget spinner!
Without leaving the corridor, take a few steps back and search for a room with a ping pong table, enter it. At the back of this room you'll find a table with two fidget spinners, just press E next to them.
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Now return to the corridor with the soccer ball and enter the room with the laptop. Once here (standing in front of it) press M+X keys to get teleported to the Matrix (Thanks Batprince for the tip). This can be a bit finicky, so just keep trying if it doesn't work at first.
Note: Press M+X again to get teleported back to the house.
Lucille Was Here!
Return to the room where you used the laptop. There should be a Hair Salon and a bedroom at the end of the corridor opposite the laptop, enter the bedroom to unlock this achievement. If the bedroom doesn't look like the one in the screenshot, you need to go down the corridor on the opposite side of the laptop room.
Free drinks for all b*tches!
Who needs this anyways, let's partayyy!
The bar is located at the left side of the house, first floor (looking from the perspective of where you start).
Once in the bar, approach the counter and spam the E key until you get to drunk level 100 (bottom left side of the screen).
Note: There's no need to wait until the drink animation finishes.
Welcome to Glades!
It's like a paradise next door!
This is actually outside the house.
From the last location (Bar), go outside and face the nearest corner of the map. You'll see an arrow icon rotating next to a wall, walk through it to get teleported to another area. There's an engraved stone at the entrance of this new area, look at it and press E to unlock this achievement.
Made you look!
The basement area is very empty, except for a car that's pretty visible when entering, get closer to its door and press E.
You have found secret room!
Next to the previously mentioned car, there will be a fake wall that you can walk through, go through it to find the secret room!
This achievement should unlock as soon as you enter it.