Small hints for demolishing bosses easily.
How to Defeat Bosses Easy
Shortly this guide can be summarized in two words; “piss switching” or with 3 words, “piss switching rules”.
Simply put, piss switching allow one to shoot single fire weapons such as rocket launcher (Holier-than-thou Launcher?) and shotgun much faster. All you had to do is some reflex input of tap firing. Trick is the moment you cease fire, pull away your finger from m1 and cut fire delay off short by tapping piss button (default: C) lightly inbetween. Rinse and repeat and you’ll be able to do that on the move as well. If you keep any of the keys pressed or they overlapse for a split second, it may not give the impact you’d like. You’d want to tap piss button the moment you cease your finger away from fire button.
Slide jumping is important part of this guide as well. You have to know how to navigate effectively which also helps you to position at combat, sometimes help you to find secrets. Simply by pressing crouch (default: Ctrl) and hitting jump (default: Space) as you let go of crouch, to rinse and repeat, you slide jump. You can also kick (default: Q) mid-air to gain a very slight distance boost to to evade incoming projectiles or attacks.
To note, this guide considers you play the episode from the start and have some power ups to begin with. Without any power ups, your boss fight will take longer and become a prolonged struggle at the high difficulties. Instead bringing some power ups which won’t be provided at the boss arena will help you to cheese the fight and consider what’s effective. I completed the game at Postal difficulty and it was fun, so you’ll know that all information written here applies to any difficulty.
You may be tempted to consume and use everything that game tosses you, but using them only when it’s direly needed will allow you to have easier time along the way. So I thought by knowing which items you exactly need for the boss fight, will also help you to eliminate some of the hoarding instincts you may have after scavenging for so long. We all know playing the game too safe would resulting in unfun gameplay with lots of stress while playing it without care, may end up with a dead end where you have no chance to fight back.
This guide aims to give you an ease of mind while planning the ahead. Certainly how many Health Pipes or Portable Armors you wanna spare for the fight is up to you. What I’m listing here is more or less, minimum requirement to cheese the bosses for opening up some sweet speedrun strats.
Karen The Manager Slayer
- Recommended: 1x Akimbo power-up or 1x Liquid Nitrogen.
- Preferred Strategy: Holier-than-thou Launcher piss switch, Nailgun time bubble then Akimbo activated Gun goes BRR for finishing. Piss switch with shotgun only for speedrun strat.
You don’t exactly need power ups against this boss as you have a very wide space to kite it and recover, along the level until you reach the boss fight area you will have plenty of opportunities for packing up weapons and you have a really long head start as long as you want. There are tons of armor packs laying around in the arena as well as some health
Against Karen, the moment she appears, you’d want to welcome her with a barrage of rockets by using this piss switch technique. You also should have tons of time stopper bubbles from Nailgun at this point plus enough ammo for exhausting a few BFG69k alt-fire to clear the alley. When she’s up close, toss a time bubble on her, draw a few piss switch rockets and bail away as time bubble about to implode.
Then cycle repeats again after you cleared the area with BFG69k alt fire or Akimbo activated Gun goes BRR. Former option can be sent into the time bubble to deny some weak monster spawns, while latter is great for finishing her as you take care of long range threats.
There are a few issue about this small combination though, Karen can ignore the time bubble when she walks into it in guarded state. Secondly, rockets stuck mid air sometimes when you piss switch fire them into the time bubble. At this position any small monster with splash damage projectile shots can set them off mid air which can instantly kill you. Try to aim the rockets at the upper torso when you envelope her in time bubble.
Similar to this I don’t recommend piss switch with shotgun against Karen. Because she is able to nullify all the incoming damage whenever she wants and dishes out disorienting shockwaves. Don’t try to get close unless you’re ready or have the required items as listed here.
Karen will spawn lots of different small freaks around her by using her purse. They’re usually not a threat but at high difficulties, she will spawn some mildly annoying ones too. You won’t see tanky ones like Goliath or Meaner Retriever, relax. However, Lightfifty Sire and Jumping Bean are the ones that you’ll see at random and they can one shot a huge chunk of damage in an instant if you stand around like a fool. Always take cover when you see a green laser pointing at you and check your behind when Karen is close and using her purse.
Fun fact: you can pee on Karen which makes her angrier and become faster at spawning monsters while causing her less likely to take guard when incurring high amounts of damage. That actually makes her vulnerable against an Akimbo assault, while posing a risk for you when you can’t estimate the distance you need to keep.
When you feel overwhelmed, use explosive red barrels around to thin out the crowd. When you slide jump for too long this will allow her to spawn more and more monsters. That’s why I suggest using rockets from afar and pissing on anything that comes close so you can slide jump away safely.
Observe Karen when she’s spawning monsters after you slide jumped too far away and try to lure monsters toward the red barrels or consume some Hot Sauce. Using a BFG69k tesla brain is a good idea at this case. Getting rid of Cussslingers and Prison Guards are easy unless you corner yourself but they force you to take cover just like any high threat when the Retrievers are coming up. You should find quite a few Ammo Packs lying around the arena here.
You can only find Liquid Nitrogen in a secret at this episode for once. So you know that you can use every other item without any worries as long as you don’t miss this. As you enter the boss arena get the Liquid Nitrogen at the ready, draw your shotgun, click the television and slide jump down. Climb the set of escalators as you hear the last bit of Karen’s entrance monologue and activate the Nitrogen.
The moment she appears spray pee on her then start piss switch rapid fire with shotgun and spray frosted pee on anything that she spawns. You can easily kill her with this up close, even if she retaliates with shockwaves will be so slow and can easily be out healed with Health Pipes. Immense damage output will force her to take guard a while but this will last short too. She won’t be able to melee you with her purse as much as she wanted when she’s frozen.
Big Bad Rona
- Recommended: 1-2x Quickpillz and/or 1-2x Steroids.
- Preferred Strategy: Holy grenades of Holier-than-thou Launcher and shotgun where applies. Shovel is only for speedrun strat.
When you enter the level it’s pretty straight forward. Go at the other end of the room with big red malfunctioned monitors. Grab Portable Armors and Health Pipes, refill ammo from vending machines and pull the only lever at the back of the room. Air condition will make you float to the platform tightly hanging from the ceiling in the middle to push the button and initiate the fight.
Get the shotgun at the ready when you decide to press the big red button. You need to use shotgun here mainly and switch back to the desired weapon when you raced it to the next platform. What you need to do is directly go upward by clinging to rings and away from that monstrosity as you press the big red button. When you lack some power ups or not looking for an achievement wailing at it from a distance is the safest and easiest way.
One thing you should notice though, that Akimbo activation will last longer than the duration of vaccines stopping it. That means when you playing on a high difficulty, it will certainly fly away before you can deal significant damage on it. This and Steroid or Qpillz being way better are the reason why I didn’t write on the recommendation list.
In case you plan on using this power up, be sure you have enough Portable Armor and Health Pipes and try to position on top of it instead of hooking around, because you can’t chase Rona along the duration of Akimbos. When you try to stand at the vaccine platforms and use Akimbos, you’ll be left behind unless you have used at least two Qpillz.
On the same subject, sadly, BFG69k is near useless here unless you go for an akimbo show. Its alt-fire doesn’t deal good amount of dps at all and won’t kill Lil Ronnies with lightning spread. Akimbo activation with BFG69k however, can be compared to the minigun in terms of damage per second. Other half-way useless weapons in this fight are, Penetrator and Puss* Blower. They maybe great for other bosses and precision removal of threats, but not this one at all. You can try if you want a challenge though. Luckily pistol alt-fire aims for the eyes automatically and pellet spread of shotgun is pretty generous.
You can piss switch with rocket launcher just like you did previously to the Rona, but here’s a small catch. I figured that alt-fire of rocket launcher deals much more damage and it kills Lil Ronnies without a hassle. The damage from holy hand grenade is comparable to quick switch rocket spam and you need Quick Pillz to charge it up fully without getting disturbed. So best way is sedating this beast and getting the vaccine ready as you zip around to wail on it later.
After stopping it on Vaccine jabs, two or three times, usage of few Qpillz and perhaps Steroids it’ll be no more. Just try to race this monstrosity to the jab area so you can catch your breathe. Activate the jab button by firing at it and once you’re there switch to holier launcher while ready to hit Qpillz. First send one or two holy hand grenades down there and start circling along the platform to avoid a tentacle attack.
When Vaccine hits, use the Qpillz then continue to circle it as you piss switch with rockets. Remember to send a few holy grenades with half-way or more charges to get rid of Lil Ronnies. Important part is hitting the eye stalks as much as you can and catching up once it releases from the jab.
When Rona starts to float away again, you should already did a full circle around it by the help of Qpillz and some slide jumps. If not, don’t worry, you can easily hook one of its eyes you missed or rings around the arena to catch up again. When it starts floating away be sure you avoided another tentacle because it certainly will not hold back any punches.
Here’s a choice though, after you’ve dealt mad amount of damage to it by pumping your explosives, either you can finish it with Steroids if you have any or repeat this holy hand grenade spam at the next platform by another batch of Qpillz.
Race it to the next platform again as you give a chase by clinging at rings, but juke the next tentacle attack land on top of it by attaching the hook at one of its eye stalks. Activate Steroids and start a digging deep with the shovel when you landed on it finally. Try madly clicking at it, result can surprise you.
Bring at least 2 or more Steroid packs to the fight, before you press the red button at the last level in the second episode. There are abundant amount of Steroid packages at the start of the second episode. If you play this first stage well and quick enough you can spare one or two. You can even get more from playing the rest of the episode as well.
It’s not a hard task when you cheese this fight. Just activate the Steroid, push the red button then stay where you are and crouch. You’ll be squatting at the top of Rona and you can slash the shovel madly at it without taking too much damage. I agree that its much faster if you position just right where it can not reach you with its tentacle, but unsatisfying too. This takes around 30-40 seconds to slash all the dirt away and can even get you a speedrun finish achievement.
- Recommended: 3-4x Quickpillz, lots of pissing aim practice.
- Preferred Strategy: Notably shotgun piss switch and Nailgun time bubbles required for first sequence else tracker of Gun goes BRR is suitable. At the second sequence either Puzzy Blower or Holier-than-thou Launcher piss switching advised.
First Sequence: The Other Dude
Finishing the whole thing quickly is just relies on spamming Quickpillz and along the episode, you’ll have abundant amount of it if you explore. If you entered this level from the fresh start beginning, congratz, you’re in for the hell of it. First sequence of the fight can be easily skipped by using pillz at the start and piss switch the shotgun to overwhelm and finish the first sequence right away.
In case you don’t have enough Qpillz and get a fresh start, that doesn’t really matter. You can replace it with Nailgun time bubbles. As you enter, just slide jump quickly to the middle of the arena, envelope him in time bubble then go up close with shotgun to repeat the quick switches. If you are really unable to perform piss switch, then you better have Akimbos with you.
After you lose your chance to damage him at first dramatic entrance, you can hardly contain him unless you are really good at landing timebubbles conveniently. Slide jump, get up close, land a bubble near your feet to catch him and depending on his position either use shotgun again or walk out of bubble and land a minigun tracker on him. After he got away from the time bubble barely alive, remember that you have a pistol that auto headshot with alt-fire on demand for a few cheap shots.
Second Sequence: Tesloborgerion
Once you finished the Cruel Dude’s health, he’ll stagger a moment then leap away to enter that giant mecha robot at the corner of the arena. It takes a while so you have time to consume some healing items and wear Portable Armor if you have any left. As Teslo mecha made the entrance, time to whip out your shotgun and consume a Quickpillz then rapidly hook four rings around his armor to reveal the weak spots.
After tearing those armor parts, what you want to do here is pissing at his below waist area by sliding in between targeting. Any kind of piss will instantly destroy weak parts of Teslo. This will make the fight much easier if he just gives you the opportunity. Especially at high difficulties, he has so much health and too hectic to aim with piss switching rockets unless you have quite a few extra Quick Pillz. Now try to stand close and jump above its shockwaves to lure one simple attack and that’s the one that deals immense damage.
The only attack you need to worry is the hot scissor clap charge. Luckily he announces that attack loud and clear, we get it; he likes “Running With Scissors”. Upon hearing that he gonna charge at you, you only have mere seconds to decide. Preferably you’d want to activate another batch of Qpillz and piss on his weak spots placed at limb and shoulder which finishes the fight. Right here and there, all that is left to do was clinging to the last ring on top its head and finishing the game.
However, depending on your position, for example, you’re too far; you better try to evade this scissor attack unless you have too many Qpillz with you. You can either circle him by slide jumping plus kicking mid-air as you’re close up. Else you slide jump towards to the nearest bounce pad or cling to a ring above the arena to matador him.
In case you couldn’t finish the fight right away, your best bet will be Puss* Blower or piss switching with rocket launcher to aim those weak spots at his upper waist. I hope you brought enough Qpillz with you. Along the Tesloborgerion fight you can easily use time bubbles as a way of invincibility spheres against the rocket barrage. You can easily jump or slide jump over the shockwaves and dodge the minigun if you slide jump fast enough.
As been said, you’ll not only win the fight easily but score this achievement as well. When you revealed the weak spots of the Teslo mecha, you have to piss at boy parts of the robot below its waist. Yet when he gives you the opportunity by eh… bending over, you’ll destroy other weak spots just as easy.
I enjoyed the game and brutalized it. It was a fun experiment and I am glad I was so intrigued about the that reload cancel technique. I’m still quite bad at this game but it was a fun journey. I shared what I know and I hope it helps you on your endeavours.
After the patch that doubled the maximum ammo of all weapons game even become easier. For example I find some weapons (Puzz Blower, BFG and Nailgun bubbles) kind of overpowered with that abundant ammo allowing you to save power ups when situation looks dire. So I say don’t hesitate to give high difficulties a try because combat really gets hectic and bosses provide some real challenge.
Playing this on Postal difficulty was some kind of a trip for me but in a good vibe. When you finish the game for second-third time and evaluate the combat area, you eventually pick the right tool for the job. So when you have a plan and don’t get cornered, even the hardest fight isn’t unbeatable.
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- POSTAL Brain Damaged – Ultimate Weapon Guide
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