A guide detailing the requirements for every achievement in Perfect Vermin.
Complete Achievements Guide
In Loving Memory
Pretty self-explanatory, just complete the game once to get the achievement.
The Story of a Lifetime
Acquiring this achievement takes a good amount of skill and some pretty decent luck. The best way I've found to do it was by following this speedrun video:
By following the route in the video, you should be able to get the achievement in just a few good tries.
You need to make sure you get into the secret room as it saves almost a minute of time in the final level.
Note: Time ends when you're in the doctor's office, and to be able to pull it off you'll also need to go through the "unborn" room. You don't need to multitask at the split-screen floor if you're fast enough on the other floors, so don't feel intimidated by it.
Another fairly easy one, make it through each of the floors without running out of time. Don't screw up too much and you should be fine.
This one is quite tricky as the entrance to the secret room only appears once and missing it requires you to reset the whole run in order to try again.
In the 5th level (The one after the splitscreen level), leave the elevator room and go to the left.
Once through the door, drop down and turn around to enter the room behind you.
Break the glass beneath you to fall into the breakroom. Break the breakroom door but DON'T JUMP DOWN. Once the door is broken, you should be able to see another door that is oriented correctly.
Drop out of the breakroom door and attempt to break the upright door and land in it at the same time. If done successfully you will be in the secret room and should unlock the achievement upon entering.
This one is a bit time consuming, but real easy. Just break 200 objects in a single run.
Make sure you are being precise with your hammer swings and don't hit anything besides doors and Vermin. You should be able to knock this one out pretty easily.
Simply hit one of the unbreakable fire escape doors 3 times in a row.
Getting this achievement takes a keen eye. Look for every light switch on the first 4 levels and break them. If you miss any, just let time run out and the switches will reset in the level but will still add on to the total number of switches broken.
You Are Likely Dense
After smashing all the Vermin in the second level, wait a few moments after the Newscaster asks you to enter the elevator. Waiting long enough will cause him to ask if you are dense, granting you the achievement.
Once you have unlocked all other achievements, start an new run and the "Perfect Vermin" achievement should be awarded.