For the budding Aussie parents who hope to share family time without incident.
General Gameplay Tips
You are invincible
Being the battle-hardened Aussie parent(s) you are, nothing is going to directly hurt you. So feel free to run into and all potential dangers, knowing that you can walk it off.
Safety is an Illusion
If you’re waiting for the warning signs to show up, you’re already parenting wrong: there are extremely few things in this world which doesn’t want your children dead, no matter how innocent they might seem. Moving kids are safer than those interacting with something: If they’re already stopped and playing with something, then you best keep your eye on them and be ready to come to their rescue.
Be an Absolute Tosser
Picking up and throwing kids isn’t just viable, it’s necessary. Despite what reality will tell you, children love to bounce off the floors and walls. A thrown kid will happily slide around until they slow to a stop, at which point they’ll resume finding a means to off themself. This means one less kid to think about, at least for a few seconds. Picking up kids who are running towards one corner may make them reconsider and choose a different spot, possibly closer to the others.
Know when to run
You have the ability to dash, quickly getting you from one side of the map to the other. You can only use it when it’s full and unfortunately the moment you start, you’ll use it all up. So if you stop to cook hamburgers you’re effectively wasting your dash. The less players there are, the more ground you need to cover (especially since there’s always something in different corners of the map) so expect to be dashing most of the time.
Know where to yell
Screaming at people is an effective means of saving lives. Any and all children within your yell-radius will immediately drop what they’re doing and scamper to you (or where you called, at least). It doesn’t matter if a dog is about to bite their face or if they’re drowning, this will suddenly revitalise them and bring ’em over to safety. There are exceptions to this: places like the road in the first level will NOT save them if you don’t get them off the road.
Additionally, there are some sweet spots where you can have two or even three kids in danger and within earshot at once. It might require a little precision at times, but it can and will save lives.
Keep children together
It’s inevitable that everyone will immediately split off into different directions, there’s no way around that. However, close kids means your yell is more effective, and if you throw them all in the same direction, that’s several kids going on a short joyride and sparing your attention for a bit longer. So if little Johnny is sitting there in one corner by himself, by all means pick him up and throw him into a more populated corner, giving you the benefit of being able to save more lives.
In most games, smart bombs are your “get out of jail free” cards. In Think of the Children, you won’t be blowing things up, but there’s a handful of things you can do which will snap every kid on the map to attention and lure them away from danger, even if they were already on the verge of offing themselves. The piñata in the first level is this. It may be tempting to use immediately, but try to hold off for a bit and bring everyone back after they’re reached the different edges of the map.
Do not pick up kids who are heading to, or are enjoying themselves at these things, or it’ll jolt them to boring reality and render the action moot.
Acting in advance
The less parents there are, the more accountable each parent is. If you’re alone, there’s just no way to cover all four corners of the map. Thus, if your kids start to split off towards each corner, head them off first and keep them together as much as possible. If one escapes your reach, know that you’ll have to run over to them eventually.
Listen for audio cues
A sizeable amount of the traps will make varying levels of noise long before any warnings show up. For example, you’ll start hearing a car approaching, giving you a chance to catch any kids playing on the road, or you may hear a dog growling, telling you that you’ll be needed by the neighbour’s yard.
Know the true killers
Some of the traps out there give you far less time to react, even with the audio cues. Stay alert and prioritise keeping your kids away from these particular disasters waiting to happen.
Going for Perfect (or A+ Apprehensions)
Survival is a must
Each kid that’s still alive by the end is a multiplier to your score, which is a whopping x6 if you keep all of the little buggers living. Each death can effectively drop your final mark by a grade. That said, it’s possible to lose one and still pull through with an A+.
Multipliers mean little if you don’t have the score to base it off. Aim to get everything crossed off the list, and if it doesn’t stay crossed off, then that just means you can abuse keep doing it to get more and build a safety net. Getting everything done once is usually enough to finish up with an A+.
Less time means less chances for mistakes
Some levels will not end until you get everything done, and it goes without saying that the less time the little monsters are running around, the less embarrassment you’ll have to suffer. Get things done quick and you might find yourself with a shining grade.
Yellow warnings are sometimes negligible
Yellow warnings are when your kids are doing something undignified or silly, but far less fatal. Harmful to your score? Yes. Harmful to the kids? Not at all. If you see someone with a regular warning and another with a yellow warning, don’t go for the latter unless they don’t take you far from the former. The multiplier of keeping kids alive is worth far more than minimising a penalty. Plus, they often take far longer to go critical.