Baldur’s Gate 3 – How to Deal with Raphael

Act 3 spoilers! From the moment I first met this **** talking, brimstone stinkin’ bastard, I’ve had an axe to grind. Here’s how to make him drop like a fly.

How to Make Raphael Go Down

Step One: Refuse

Obviously, never take a devil’s deal. No matter how appealing, no matter what you stand to gain, it’s going to screw you over. I found that one out the hard way after a brief night with Will’s patron cost me my big tiddy gith gf.

But man, what a night that was. No regrets.

Anyway, always turn this cheeky **** down. No exceptions.

Step Two: Reduce

Near the end of the game, once you’ve made it to BG proper (or at least the part with the whorehouse) you can find this sneaky git chilling in his own private motel room on the second floor of this skeezy brothel. I won’t give much context as to why he’s there; if you know you know, and if not, spoilers, but at any rate, he wants to make a deal with you.

Refer to step one.

He’s a pitiful simp tho, and won’t leave until one of two things happen:

  1. His HP is halved
  2. Something else maybe I don’t know.

I actually found this out by accident, because I was all full of piss and vinegar and just leapt at the opportunity to murk this fool first chance I got, which turned out to be a very good idea for a not so very intuitive reason: ability drain.

Never say a tadpole never did nuthin for ya.

Here’s how it works: I cast my eldritch blast at him, he gets hurt, ability drain applies -1 charisma , he throws me out of his room for attacking him, I open the door again, and repeat.

I wondered why he wasn’t fighting back, but I’m not the type to look a gith horse in the mouth, so anyway, I started eldritch blasting. And blasting. And blasting.

Eventually dude gets sick of this and leaves, saying “fine, screw you, deal’s off”.

I thought that was the end of it.

Oh how wrong I was.

Step Three: Dominate Monster

Last call for spoilers!

So, I get to his boss fight, and I use examine to check what I’m up against, when all of a sudden I notice that the stacks of ability drain were still there.

So this dude has zero charisma (didn’t need examine to figure that one out, HEYO) and with it a whopping minus 5 to his charisma saves.

4 scrolls of dominate monster later, dude hasn’t had a turn all fight and now all of his pillars are smashed and all of his lackeys are toast. All the while dude is singing his own boss fight theme. I guess he likes getting his ass beat to a soundtrack.

He goes beast mode once he finally makes his save, but by that point he’s at such a numerical disadvantage that the fight is comically one-sided.

So, here’s the part where I get down on my hands and knees and BEG Larian not to patch this out. It’s funny as **** that this dude has such an easily exploitable weakness, and so in character. He’s literally too prideful to think I’m worth a counterattack until the last possible moment. Well, if you didn’t want to fight me in a cheap motel, you don’t get to fight me in your house, either.

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